Hold me

Sometimes I think about what my life would be like if my lunch plans had showed up that first Thursday of classes my freshman year. If I had eaten with that girl who got my Star Trek references and loved the Beatles and Bob Dylan almost as much as me. If I had just left the Dining Common to return to my room to study. If I hadn't walked up to a girl with fire truck red hair and her quiet friend with the pretty face and curly hair.

Probably in a ditch somewhere.

That's a joke, guys.

But in all seriousness, if that Thursday lunch hadn't gone the way it did, I would be a very different person than I am today. It was these two girls who made my freshman year what it was. Particularly that red head with the four piercings and the weird clothes and the funny hats. The art major, the oddball. If it wasn't for that unnaturally red hair, I would be a very different person.

Because she's always been there. When my very best friend transferred to another school, she was there to pick up the pieces of my broken heart and mend them with her tears. I don't think she realized it at the time, but one of the biggest reasons I healed was because she was just as broken as me. Different ways, definitely, but the world had taken its toll on her as well. And while I would never wish our respective struggles to return, I am so thankful for them, because it was in these struggles that made us who we are today.

I didn't intend for this to get all sappy. Originally, I wanted to talk about consequences of little actions and mindless reactions how one tiny thing can lead to something huge and monumental and insane. How her dying her hair bright red the summer before I met her changed and shaped who I am today. And maybe I will talk about that sometime. But this post has morphed into something different, at least in my mind.

Some people are always there when you need them to be.

But what happens when that friend, even the one from literal day one has crap blow up in their life and they can't be there? When struggles bring them down, too?

You turn to Christ. He's doesn't change. Doesn't get bogged down by the cares of this life. He doesn't have projects that pop out of nowhere and demand His total attention. He's there when you have to leave the comfort of a loved one's arms to go back to your own dorm. His phone doesn't die, He doesn't lose His card. He is always accessible and always, always 100% there.

I've known that crazy red head and her not so quiet friend for three years now. And they have always been there when I have needed them. But there may come a day when I can't reach them. And when that day comes, and my life is crashing down and I need someone to hold me together as my world falls apart, Christ will hold me up. He's been doing it all this time anyway.